Nonviolent Communication (NVC) suggests a way to create a world where everyone’s needs matter and are met. It is based on a (quite small) number of assumptions about human nature, including that human beings are social animals who enjoy contributing to one another's well-being (usually in situations where their own needs are being met). See www.connecttolife.co.uk/about-compassionate-communication.html for an outline by Clare Palmer.
Marshall Rosenberg, who formulated NVC in the 1960s and 1970s, rooted it in the tradition of Gandhi’s nonviolent resistance. His choice of name, Nonviolent Communication, rather than, say, Compassionate Communication, is a homage to Gandhi’s example.
One of the tenets of NVC is that by making requests rather than demands of one another, we are all more likely to create a world where everyone’s needs are met. This contrasts with the view, widely held on the Left, which I find compelling, that “power concedes nothing without a demand”, as Frederick Douglass put it. Gandhi himself was not one who merely made requests. He demanded incessantly – and nonviolently, of course – that the British Raj quitIndia .
Marshall Rosenberg, who formulated NVC in the 1960s and 1970s, rooted it in the tradition of Gandhi’s nonviolent resistance. His choice of name, Nonviolent Communication, rather than, say, Compassionate Communication, is a homage to Gandhi’s example.
One of the tenets of NVC is that by making requests rather than demands of one another, we are all more likely to create a world where everyone’s needs are met. This contrasts with the view, widely held on the Left, which I find compelling, that “power concedes nothing without a demand”, as Frederick Douglass put it. Gandhi himself was not one who merely made requests. He demanded incessantly – and nonviolently, of course – that the British Raj quit
I wholeheartedly support the philosophy and process of NVC and can testify to the difference it has made to me in my personal life and connection with other people. (This is due in large part to my good fortune in being married to Clare Palmer.) But what puzzles me about the assumption about requests rather than demands, is whether this particular tenet really has a place outside of personal relationships and communication. At the political level, from the town council up to international conflict, I agree with Douglass that “power concedes nothing without a demand”, and those of us who want social change must make loud and incessant (and nonviolent) demands, not mere requests, for the changes we want to see in the world.
Update: 21/04/13
Update: 21/04/13
Clare has helpfully reminded me that, in NVC, the difference between a
request and a demand is only revealed after it has been made. If a person does
not get the response they want and moves to blame or punish or force the other
to do what they want, that reveals that they were making a demand all along. That explains why Gandhi was, in NVC terms, making requests,
rather than demands. Though he would never accept any other answer than for the
British to quit India ,
he did so in a way that didn’t resort to blame or punishment or force.
No comments:
Post a Comment